Transporter 2

Transporter 2

In between playing World of Warcraft (started a rouge on a server with our friend Cleatus), reading R.A. Savlator's "The Drow Chronicles", and mowing the lawn, we took in a movie this weekend; Transporter 2 with the wonderfully gravelly voiced Jason Statham.

Our friend Chris, the Sunday School Teacher and aspiring actor, came along to the movie. Since the roles Chris is auditioning for require long hair and a shaggy beard, he looks a bit like a bad ass. Wouldn't it be great if the bad ass rubs off by association, we chuckled at the silent thought. So we sat in the ominous dark of the theatre, wishing for silence, a radio station, or anything other than the TV commercials theatres play nowadays. Finally, the trailers for coming attractions! At last, the movie.

One more thing about Chris, underneath the Sunday School Teacher Actor Bad Ass lurks a fine illustrator. Chris did several character sketches for Judgment Day that we're going to use if we ever get an actual J.J. Ace website up and running.

Onto the movie! Frank Martin (Jason Statham's character), the over the top action hero of the piece, is easy to like. We sympathize with the receding hairline, and we enjoyed his 'dangerous man bad ass' gravelly voice. Frank frequently employed his "I'm a bad ass who can kill you with only a bent and rusty spoon" glare. The stare was quite effective, but in the end overused. His lithe form was athletic, making it easy to believe he could perform the many unbelievable stunts. The shining wonderment of the movie was the fight scenes. In one scene in particular, Frank takes out a dozen bad guys with a firehouse. The opening fight scene against a squad of carjackers was very good as well.

Jason Statham did falter in one or two scenes. He's great at the action bits, but when it came to interacting with others, he seemed to go a little flat. When he confronts the villain at the climax, he seemed a bit lost.

Frank's Audi is another character in the movie. Blech, don't make a car a character. If I want to see how wonderful a car is, I'll go watch DVDs of any number of old television shows.

Let's talk about the actual story of Transporter 2. Frank Martin is driving an elementary school boy from home to school as a favor for a friend. The bad guys have plotted to kidnap the boy, and despite Frank's best efforts, the little boy is snatched. The bad guys attempt to explode Frank and his car, and they think Frank is dead.

With the bad guys believing him to be dealt with, Frank is free to rescue the boy, and bring the villains to justice. Frank's life is made even more complicated as the parents think he was in on it, and the cops are gunning for him. After a lot of unbelievable stunts, fight scenes, chase scenes, and what not, Frank manages to save the day.

This movie took it too far. Some of the stunts and situations were simply non-creditable. This story would have been improved by more human interactions. If the action elements had been tamed a little, and if we had been given more of Frank's life and character, then this would have been a good movie.

Go see "Transporter 2" if you like action and clever fight scenes. If you like real characters, complex villains with complex motivations, and plot twists that surprise you, then skip this movie.

As for Chris, he's looking forward to Peter Jackson's King Kong. If he doesn't shave by then, he might look like King Kong's little brother.

Just kidding, Chris.